I did it... I ripped off the Band-Aid...

(disclaimer: this blog may be all over the place... which is because my mind has been too)

That's really what it felt like. I was nauseous. I was shaking. I wanted to cry. And then I just did it... what I've been dreading for months...

I told my bosses that we're moving. Whew. It's done. Why does it seem like notifying my place of employment makes us moving so much more "official"? I mean, it's been official since December when we got word that Mark was accepted... but now that I have an "end date" (August 15) for work, it really is real, you know?

Please don't get me wrong. I'm very excited to begin this adventure with Mark. I'm excited to explore a new city with him, and I'm excited to meet new people & make new friends, for Mark to start at Covenant and find a new church and job and settle into our new house. I'm excited for it to become home.

I actually keep saying "OK, let's just go NOW. Why do we have to wait 6 more weeks?" Recently I've been feeling quite a combination of emotions... Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Impatient. Worried. Happy. Frustrated. Excited. All those feelings in 1 day is a little overwhelming... so yesterday was a bad day. I was just in a funk. All day. I came home from work & Mark knew something was wrong... so he fixed me dinner & then let me be by myself. Although he doesn't always get why I'm feeling a certain way, he's very understanding and patient (thank you, honey!)

Now that it's "official" at work, a huge weight has been lifted. They've even offered to help me find a job in St. Louis! Who could ask for a better employer? I'm quiting, they have to go through the trouble of replacing me, yet they want to help me? As frustrated as I've been with my job, I've been quite blessed for the past 3 1/2 years to have a stable job, doing something I enjoy (most of the time) with people that I really have grown to like.

When I get into these funks, which we all do from time to time, I need to remind myself what my mom has reminded me of for years. When I was younger she even got me a little frame of this quote...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phillippians 4: 6-7)

HELLO. What have I thinking? I'm not in charge here, so for me to be anxious and all worked up is just plain silly. He is in charge. He has a plan. And I need to trust in that plan. Can I get an AMEN?

Love you all,

Marci