My Wife is a Top Shelf Lady

Today is Marci's birthday, and I'd like to take a moment and reflect on just how wonderful she is. She is a majestic, caring, loving, and godly woman. She is always thinking of others before herself. Just the other day I got home from a long day at work to find a new book sitting on the table with a lovely little note saying that she loves me.

Her love is unconditional, uncompromising, and unequivocably more than anything I would have ever expected. Being married is awesome. Being married to Marci is awesomer. If we were playing Scrabble (which we often do) she would point out that 'awesomer' is not a word. She is always there to pick me up when I am down, and always makes me laugh when my face goes to a frown.

We are very excited about our life ahead. Big changes, big obstacles, but together we will serve the Lord without apology, smiling, hugging, and loving all along the way.

Her hunger for knowledge is impressive. She wants to read the Bible, she always makes sure we do our Bible study together nightly, and always asks questions when there is something that is difficult. I am excited for what we will learn in St. Louis, and how we can edify each other in our words and actions. I love you Marci. I hope you get a candy bar for your birthday.

I've become "that guy"

Yes, it has happened. I've become "that guy" at the gym. I went to the gym today at OSU, and I realized I do not look half as cool as anyone else in the room. I looked down at my shorts, which were much too short, and much too tight. I wore a white tee shirt over a white undershirt (big fashion mistake) and a clever little mustard stain lived just around my belly button. I wore a tattered baseball hat (not the cool kind, but a really silly-looking one) and I attempted to pump iron. I could lift about a fourth of most of the guys, and I could only do about 9 situps on the incline bench.

Then... I thought I'd regain some swagger by checking out a basketball and hooping it up. No. It just got worse. Some of the fellas were really ballin' (that's what it's called), and I went in for my first layup and didn't hit the room. I threw it right over against the glass and off the other side. Threes were going for airballs. Foul shots brickin' into the lights. I asked a 5th grader who was on a field trip if he wanted to play with me. He looked at me like I was a fool for even asking. He didn't want to have to embarrass me in front of the ladies. I understand. I was definitely "that guy." I think I'll go do a crossword puzzle and take my heartburn medication before I go to bed.

The Value of Paradox

Paradox: a statement that seems contradictory to common sense but which might also be true.

I've been wrestling with several of the paradox that are in the Bible and finding that there are many paradox in nature. I am learning the value of these paradox and it has helped me to better understand why we are here and how to approach the Bible.

The main paradox that has been troubling me is the one of freedom. How can God's will be sovereign, so that each thing he wills is done completely while at the same time we retain our freedom as human beings? I will tackle that one in a moment, but let's first look at some paradox in nature. Consider the sun: it is the one thing that gives light to everything on earth, allows us to see, to use our eyes, and yet it is the one thing in nature that you can't look at.

The solar system of which we are a part (very large) and an atom (very small) have the same shape. Both have items orbiting a nucleus held together by very strong forces.

The planets stay in the same orbits, as do things that orbit the Earth (satellites), but they do so by constantly falling. Their speed offsets the fall so that they always miss falling into the sun, but always fall around the sun relatively the same rate. On Earth, too, we are falling because of gravity and held up by solid ground (which at the center is not actually solid). The strongest things are always heaviest and fall easily, and the most fragile creatures (birds, bugs) are ones that can defy gravity (or, the Fall) the easiest. We would fall right into the sun and burn if not for God holding us up.

Someone once said wisely that technology has given us more efficient means of going backwards. This is a wise saying, as we make more efficient devices and yet our lives throughout history are increasingly hectic. G.K. Chesterton writes in his book, "Orthodoxy," we think it is because humans are so industrious that we have become so busy and things are so crowded. But it is just the opposite. Imagine a busy New York street with taxicabs going everywhere. It would not be so congested if everyone would just leave the cars and walk. It is simply because we have grown so lazy that we need such expedients to drive our lives crazy.

Consider the noble paradox in the Bible that we are all so familiar with: the meek will enherit the earth, those who lose their life for Christ's sake will find it, and he who finds his life will lose it. These are the axioms that Nietzsche revolted against, and cursed Christianity for making popular. But are they really true?

I think so, and I think the paradox of nature help us to understand that. Let's look now at this virtue called 'freedom.' The Bible tells us that we are slaves to our sin, that we are dead when we are living without Christ. Yet, we in our sin, want to make our own decisions without God's sovereign will getting involved. The Bible also tells us that Christ has set us free by his own will, that we are no longer slaves to sin, but slaves to righteousness. His divine will is the only thing that gives us freedom. Are there practical parallels to this in everyday life? Sure.

Imagine you want to play the piano. You are not free to play until you learn the rules of the piano, learn about musical harmony, and can understand chords, etc. The same with language: we want to express ourselves, but it is not until we learn all the rules of a language that we can really say anything at all. Musical harmony, cogent language, have set us free, by enslaving us to their rules.

How then can we be free? By giving up our freedom, and giving it to God. This is the ultimate paradox, because freedom is the thing we value the most. That's why it works so perfectly. We replace that one thing with the only thing that can give us any value at all. Paradox works because it goes against everything my little mind can muster, and I realize that my level of knowledge is tiny tiny tiny, and he is in complete control.

I did it... I ripped off the Band-Aid...

(disclaimer: this blog may be all over the place... which is because my mind has been too)

That's really what it felt like. I was nauseous. I was shaking. I wanted to cry. And then I just did it... what I've been dreading for months...

I told my bosses that we're moving. Whew. It's done. Why does it seem like notifying my place of employment makes us moving so much more "official"? I mean, it's been official since December when we got word that Mark was accepted... but now that I have an "end date" (August 15) for work, it really is real, you know?

Please don't get me wrong. I'm very excited to begin this adventure with Mark. I'm excited to explore a new city with him, and I'm excited to meet new people & make new friends, for Mark to start at Covenant and find a new church and job and settle into our new house. I'm excited for it to become home.

I actually keep saying "OK, let's just go NOW. Why do we have to wait 6 more weeks?" Recently I've been feeling quite a combination of emotions... Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Impatient. Worried. Happy. Frustrated. Excited. All those feelings in 1 day is a little overwhelming... so yesterday was a bad day. I was just in a funk. All day. I came home from work & Mark knew something was wrong... so he fixed me dinner & then let me be by myself. Although he doesn't always get why I'm feeling a certain way, he's very understanding and patient (thank you, honey!)

Now that it's "official" at work, a huge weight has been lifted. They've even offered to help me find a job in St. Louis! Who could ask for a better employer? I'm quiting, they have to go through the trouble of replacing me, yet they want to help me? As frustrated as I've been with my job, I've been quite blessed for the past 3 1/2 years to have a stable job, doing something I enjoy (most of the time) with people that I really have grown to like.

When I get into these funks, which we all do from time to time, I need to remind myself what my mom has reminded me of for years. When I was younger she even got me a little frame of this quote...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phillippians 4: 6-7)

HELLO. What have I thinking? I'm not in charge here, so for me to be anxious and all worked up is just plain silly. He is in charge. He has a plan. And I need to trust in that plan. Can I get an AMEN?

Love you all,

Marci

Tropical Berry Skittles Will Not Even Bring Us From This Stupor

In the movie Anchorman, when the fellas enter a "spiritual and existential funk" they go and buy new suits. For me, I don't think that's going to do the trick.

I am overwhelmed by complexities that are far beyond my comprehension. Every thought experiment that goes through my head seems to end in some connundrum that is inescapable. I feel I have learned too much, and now I am trapped by logic, intuition, and divine literature. Just as I am typing this my favorite song "Majesty Snowbird" just came on my iTunes, and reminded me to cling to the cross. I want to be a snowbird and fly far from here. I want to read Ecclesiastes and remember that wisdom is just a chasing after the wind. If I tried to explain to you how the beauty of music is created, why musical harmony works, and why it tugs at the center of my heart, I couldn't do it.

I will cling to Him, his word, his Majesty. In the song, through blaring trumpets and winding strings, I hear the encouraging words, "don't stop, don't break, you can delight because you have a place." Lord, I need you now.

SO excited!

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long since our last post. We're losers. Here are a few things that I am currently really excited about:

1.) FINALS- Mark's almost done with this quarter... which means 1 more quarter to go!!! If I'm this excited about it, I can't imagine the relief he'll feel when it's all over. And since this quarter's almost over, that means...

2.) VACATION!! We leave on Friday! WHOO HOO!!! We're headed to Topsail, NC, with my entire family! Mark & I are SO excited to spend the week relaxing with my fam... we can't wait to watch Ellie, Lydia & Luke explore the sand & the ocean. Mark has already declared a vow of silence & beach living (I guess he thinks he'll sleep down there) for the whole week, but I'm really doubting that will happen : ) We'll be sure to post pictures when we get back.

3.) BOOKS. There are 2 that I am currently reading that I am LOVING, both books that my sweet husband bought for me! The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. If you haven't read this... get with it! C.S. Lewis is a genius. 'nough said.
(actually, the book requires it's own entire blog entry, which I'm waiting to do that until I'm finished with it).

I'm also reading Idols of the Heart (can't remember the author). Mark got this for me at the T4G conference, and I just started it the other day. It's a great book (and I'm not even through Chapter 1!), and has really forced me to realize that most of the time my priorities are in the wrong place. Really has made me re-think why I do/think/say some of the things that I do. Maybe once I'm done with it I'll blog about it too.

That's all for now. Gotta get back to work!

Love,
Marci

Salem Bin Laden

Marci and I will be blogging more often now that the big concert is over. We have decided to take more time to rest and write about things that we think are important. We want to keep our families updated on what we are thinking about, what we're doing, etc.

I have been reading about the Bin Laden family recently, trying to make some sense out of senseless violence, to try to figure out how a heart can go so awry. I anticipated that Osama Bin Laden would be the most interesting character in the family, but I was incorrect. It is quite intriguing to learn about Osama's oldest brother, Salem Bin Laden. After their father's death (by plane crash), the sons inherited a huge amount of wealth. Osama stuck to his projects in the Middle East, including the Afghan war against the Soviets, while brothers like Salem invested their money in businesses and real estate, mostly in the United States.

Salem Bin Laden loved fast cars, fast planes, fast women, and to sing karaoke. He would pay DJs to allow him to sing at clubs and parties. His favorite songs were "On top of ol' smokey' and anything by the Beatles. He once invited a group of American businessmen on a hunting trip in Pakistan. They were going to hunt some rare hawks. The businessmen were surprised to find when they arrived in Pakistan, that Salem had rented each of them their own engine-powered glider with a rifle mount, so that they could fly along with the hawks and shoot them. I am no hunter myself, but I might be inclined to be on if I had my own personal glider. Salem had homes in many major US and European cities and dated as many as ten women at a time, having many children out of wedlock. To many, unlimited money, unlimited women, and unlimited power is something to envy, a lifestyle of freedom with little complication. But after reading about all of his adventures and relationships, there is really only one word to describe Salem Bin Laden: lonely.

He had a rudimentary portable phone with him at all times, in all his planes, in all his homes, and would call his friends or brothers and sisters several times a day, no matter what time of day. He surrounded himself with people, many of whom just wanted his money, but would applaud every exciting move he made, every immature prank he could carry out. His entourage got bigger as he got older, and his loneliness became so desperate that he would hire front desk personnel at hotels to come and talk to him while he used the bathroom. He couldn't sleep in a room by himself. He was afraid of the dark. Nothing could satisfy. Ironically, Salem died in a plane crash, much like his father, in 1988 in Houston, Texas. Salem was by himself in the plane, his father died while an American pilot failed to land correctly in Saudi Arabia.

Cases like Salem's are not rare, and it is often sad to think of the troubles celebrities have with these same issues. Howard Hughes had a similar condition, which is shown nicely in the 2004 movie The Aviator. Even the most powerful people in the world have affairs, commit crimes, etc. I just learned that FDR was unfaithful to good ol' Eleanor. The human heart can be a lonely place.

I believe it was C.S. Lewis who said that for every appetite there is something to fulfill it. If we feel hungry, there is such a thing as food. What is this desire in our hearts for a love that will not let us down? In the 18th century, a famous preacher named Jonathan Edwards told his children on his deathbed that they should put their trust in the one father who would never let them down. We are consistenly told in the Bible to "fear" the Lord. As the always trusty Tim Keller puts it, "if you're living for money, living for power, success, sex, your job, or even your children, you are living in mortal 'fear' of something, the loss of which would render life meaningless. What do you most fear losing? You can be inspired by God, understand the law, and him not be your 'fear.' Is he the main passion of your heart? When he becomes the main ardor of your heart, you move from knowing about him into knowing him." Jonathan Edwards said in another text, "there is an infinite difference between knowing that honey is sweet and actually tasting the sweetness of honey."

Marci and I like talking about Jesus, that is why he often comes up in these blogs. He is moving closer to the center of our hearts. We are about to go on a date. We are going to dinner and will play games at Gameworks. We look forward to seeing you all soon.

love,
M&M